My baby turned 1 year old on April Fool’s Day. There wasn’t a big party, balloons, ice cream or presents like most kids have. No big April Fool’s Day jokes, although the irony of having this particular day mark the beginning of someone’s whole new life wasn’t lost on me.
Like any parent on such a significant day, I took some time to reflect back over that first year of my child’s life. As I stood there looking, I remembered how many things happened during that first year. Beginning in such a totally helpless and vulnerable state, they need help to survive from everyone around them. Can’t speak a word, so they can’t tell anyone what’s wrong or what’s right. Smiling, laughing, pointing and yes, sometimes yelling and crying is all they’ve got. But people figure it out. And the child continues to learn and grow. Starts to crawl from one place to the next. Their world is getting bigger. They babble out some things that sound almost like words. They get what they want from their helpers the very first time. Any day now, they’re going to pull themselves up on that coffee table and start stumbling their way across the living room. There is still A LOT ahead for them as they continue to learn and grow, but what a significant time that first year is, right?
As I looked away from the mirror and looked out my window at this wonderful view of Buenos Aires, it’s hard to believe it’s been a year since I first left the United States. My experiences over the year have been similar in many ways to that developing 1 year old child. Left a comfortable environment and went to a place that was completely different. Couldn’t speak the language. Everyone was a stranger. Had to learn how to get around. Tried to figure out where/how to fit into social situations and the culture.
The learning comes from the struggle…
But I’m a grown man. This ought to be easy enough, right? I have years of life experiences behind me that have taught me how to handle new situations and overcome difficult ones, right? Well, yes and no. While it’s true that I’ve certainly learned from experiences I’ve had in life, this one has been like no other. There are days when it feels like it’s coming together, and then there are days when it feels like I should just pack up my shit and go back where I came from. It’s on those tough days that I have to remind myself that I’m basically a 1 year old child in this experience. I’ve chosen to strip my life back down to just about ground zero in many ways. Why am I surprised when it turns out to be hard? OK then, this is when I get to play the grown up card: I can step back for a moment and use my powers of intellect and reasoning to assess the situation and come to the realization that these things I come up against can all be dealt with or overcome, I just need a strategy and a plan to make that happen. But wait…is it really that hard? Does a 1 year old baby do that? Nope, the baby just keeps plowing ahead, learning by doing, day after day until they get it. Learning things at this basic of a level takes time and practice and the willingness to engage in order to make it happen. Pretty simple in theory, but I just need to keep in mind that the learning comes from the struggle, so don’t run from the struggle.
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I started that post back in April while I was living in Buenos Aires, but I never finished it. In keeping with it’s theme, I decided I needed to go back and finish it and post it. I struggled. I learned.
